Call me a skeptic on this whole Tide pod thing

It’s a fun narrative that goofy, dumbshit millennials are popping Tide pods like they’re Smarties. Everyone loves hating on millennials. And we know people do stupid stuff all the time. That’s why we have warnings on windshield covers that say don’t drive while in operation.

But I’m a full bore skeptic on this whole idea that kids are going nuts with this stuff. It reminds me too much of the annual story about the razors in Halloween candy. It’s something that fact checkers and researchers claim never happened.

As a former full-time member of the media, I think the press gets a bad wrap. But these trendy stories almost always have little basis in reality. Remember the Knockout Game? Kids were running rampant all over the country, knocking out strangers cold. It was basically bullpucky. Yes, it happened. But if wasn’t some trend from Weehawken to Peoria.

Why do these stories catch fire? I don’t know. Really. It could be a process thing. It makes it onto one wire and it’s a talker, so local TV stations and newspapers run with it. I’d put a lot of blame on the media running trend stories that don’t include specifics. I’d also put some blame on police departments who often notify the press about trends that, upon further investigation often are as real as the tooth fairy.

So why am I skeptical. First of all, were not seeing a log of specifics. Remember when teen pregnancy cults were a thing? Yeah, a lot of that was hokum, too. But the reports were often based out of a specific town. If we’re not derived specific towns where this challenge is happening, that’s a sign this might not be all it’s cracked up to be. Second of all, until we see numbers, it’s not a trend. I tried looking earlier today to see if Poison Control or the Centers for Disease Control had any actual numbers saying the pod-eating was on a rise and couldn’t find it.

But it bares repeating. Don’t eat detergent, goofballs.

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